In an “Oregonian” (spellcheck said ok!) move, the Whiteskins announce the addition of four new shirt designs to add to the team’s already game-changing roster of satirically socially-beneficial fantasy football regalia. These styles are scheduled to be available for purchase in our online store in the near future. Contact us on Facebook or Twitter to let us know what you like, don’t like, and how many of each you want to order.

Snyder

Wasicus

Logo (Black)

Throwback Helmet

The Washington Warriors are coming to life, and you can help here. We tend to think there is never a bad time to vote against traditions of racism and derogation.

Brittain Peck (Whiteskins Offensive Coordinator) has sent us the following images of the alternate third uniforms of his proposed concept & design for the UniWatch Redesign the Redskins Contest.

Just a few notes about these uniforms:

The colors of the uniform consist of charcoal gray (predominantly) with deep red and yellow stripes and trim. The inclusion of the yellow (not one of the colors included in the primary Warriors team colors palette) with red (which is one of the colors included in the primary Warriors team colors palette) is intended as a tribute to the burgundy and gold of the Redskins current uniforms with a drastically different presentation.

The helmet features the Warriors alternate “W” logo, which has also been brilliantly “emoticonized” into the following symbol: \\* (thanks Arr Scott).

The Redskins Redesign Contest being run by UniWatch has wrapped up the first round of voting and moved into the finals. Thanks to all of the support from all of you reading out there in Whiteskins Nation, our very own Offensive Coordinator’s design (Brittain Peck) has moved into the finals as well.

And so here we are. Again. Shamelessly pleading for your support. Again.

To keep this begging from getting too awkward, we’ve asked Brittain to throw you a bone. The poor guy obviously thinks that “bone” means a handful of close-up preview images showing the detailed views of his proposed Washington Warriors uniforms. Click any of the images posted here to see a larger image.

If you feel like voting, we’d greatly appreciate it, and you can do so here.

Thanks.

Shoulder stripe detail with three stars reminiscent of the flag of Washington D.C. and military rank insignia.

Chest detail with alternate \\* logo embroidered as “badge of honor” on upper left chest.

Pant stripe detail.

The uniform design enthusiasts over at UniWatch have initiated a uniform revision / redesign contest challenging contributors to envision better days for the Washington Redskins and our nation as a whole. The Whiteskins couldn’t thank them enough.

Beginnng last weekend and concluding yesterday, the submissions were shared with the public in three posts: 1, 2, and 3.

As with everything, everyone has an opinion, and the Whiteskins are known for not only having one, but also for sharing it. Whiteskins are no different here, but actually all the more biased seeing as the Whiteskins very own Offensive Coordinator, Brittain Peck, has thrown his hat, or rather redesigned helmet, into the mix. That’s right, vote for Brittain.

Vote here.

And, you didn’t hear this from us, but you can vote only once per computer / device, but we imagine that many of you have more than one computer / device.

BREAKING NEWS:
In the midst of the wonder, worry, and speculation concerning the impending changes that Nike’s takeover of designing and producing the NFL teams’ uniforms for the 2012-2013 season, New Orleans has decided to put our minds at ease. Or was it put a bounty on our heads? Either way, Whiteskins 100% approve.

It has begun. The Madness. The most exhilarating, glass-slipper wearing two and half weeks of competition that mankind has devised yet to serve as an introduction to the song “One Shining Moment.” (That’s the song they pair with a video montage at the end of the tournament that would hold its own in tug-of-war against any cute kitten video on YouTube using your heart-strings as the rope.) That’s right, March Madness is all about, the personal interest stories. Well, at least 90%. Slight exaggeration? Yes. Do we care about factual accuracy? No. So that makes us right.

No, we aren’t idiots. We know that the NCAA men’s (sorry ladies) basketball tournament is actually about a big group of scholarly young gentlemen who collectively ask their teachers for a hallpass to leave the rigors of academia to play basketball. Coincidentally, it is also about a big group of older gentlemen whose employers are probably considering renaming the month of March to “31 Reasons to Send American Jobs Overseas”.

Alright. Fine. We admit that we actually have no idea what we are talking about because honestly, we don’t believe that sports that don’t include the words “fantasy” or “football” in their names even exist. So please, help us out with answering this one:

Every year, in every NCAA basketball tournament, there emerges this dude. We don’t know from where he comes, and until his name is used as a substitute for the letter “e” by all sports broadcast networks, we didn’t know that either. Nonetheless, he is real. At least, he becomes real, very real. He becomes the poster child for the entire tournament, the entirety of college athletics and all that is good and worth striving for in life. He can’t miss. His teammates disappear. All of his fouls are forgiven and the refs that called them are fired and / or eaten. The networks gives him so much love that you would swear that they have all become infomercials selling opportunities to kiss this young man’s tush for 3 easy payments of $19.95. Enough? No! The NCAA gladly hires additional towel boys to run out on to the court during timeouts to collect all of the panties thrown by the announcers… enough? Ok.

We’re exaggerating again, but our point is this: the tournament’s special interest stories seem to have a tendency to culminate into an über interest story about an über guy. He seems to emerge from a cast of characters as the tournament winds on and his name is ridden as long as it has legs. And, if our records are correct, this Prince Charming Champion Pal-O-Mine from Next Door tends to be white.

“What?” No. Not, “what”. We said “white”. Yes, white.

Now, we have our theories about this, and we imagine that most of them are wrong. Perhaps a story about a white athlete is of more interest to more (white) Americans than a non-white athlete. Perhaps more (white) Americans feel more comfortable forming emotional bonds via satellite-aided telecasting with a 20 year old kid whom they will never meet than they would with a non-white, or even bi-racial, kid. (Nope, not playing “halfsies” here. Just ask Barack Obama how having one white parent and one black parent plays out in winning the hearts of Middle-America.) Perhaps.

If you’ve read this far, thanks. We’ll leave you alone right after asking you one final question to ponder while you try to enjoy one of the most exciting annual sporting events in spite of these network shenanigans: Who will emerge as the National NCAA Near-and-Dear Heartthrob for 2012 AND will he be white?

Now, if you will excuse us we have an appointment scheduled with Tyler Zeller’s publicist.

Rumors are cheap and plenty concerning the degree to which teams’ uniforms will or will not be butchered and/or beautified when Nike takes over the design and production for the 2012-2013 season. As always, the Whiteskins aren’t much for rumors, so confirm what you read here by looking at the image above: the Dubskins will destroy the competition before the coin is even tossed. How? Bad-ass uniforms. And this is just the home get-up; the away suit is soon to come.

If you are reading this, this one should be a no-brainer, although we believe it never hurts to point-out what should be obvious.